OUR CLOSET DOOR

The Door

Right now my state of consciousness is a complete blur. One half has a sense of forward throttle, while the other struggles to flinch. For some reason or another, my life is always ridden with some sort of anxiety--- or at least it appears to be in every moment that I’m not in a state of complete harmony; a rarity.

My biggest fear is failure; I spend hours every day thinking about it. My fear of failure is what has kept me from writing this for 23 days. Sometimes I feel that what I go through is completely normal and human, but at others I blame it on my dramatic storm and stress personality.

 You could say that I’m a typical teenager--- but why the hell would I ever admit that? Why would I settle for anything typical? I feel like I was born atypical and that my unique qualities must be put to use as devices; capable of progress and change in the world. It is quite obvious to me and my community that society must become more accepting and tolerant of who I am. I will do anything to reach this point.

I feel completely pretentious saying this and I do not have complete confidence in myself, so I feel obligated to tell you about how stupid I feel. However, I know that all of my delusion is very much real to me, and it is important that I be honest about this. It is important to me that I am a soldier for my beliefs; to fight for my individuality and actually do something with my insanity.

 I want to feel important. I do not want to be insignificant now, later, or when I’m dead. I do not want to settle for what is given to me, but rather fight for more, and never surrender. Everything scares me.

Who am I?

A)     A teenager

B)      Gay

C)      A human

D)     A boy

E)      My generation

I am not only myself, but I am also you in many ways. This is not my closet door, but instead

OUR CLOSET DOOR.

It is our dreams, our nightmares, our fears, and our hopes.

Our past, present, and future

OUR CLOSET DOOR